For years I’ve been doing a deep dive into Shakespeare’s play, Hamlet, endeavoring to translate the experience of teaching a play that I knew pretty well while I went through an experience that was completely new to me.
Teaching Hamlet as my father was dying I began to see the truth in scholar Harold Bloom’s insertion that we don’t read Shakespeare, Shakespeare read us. The lines change their meaning and application to our lives based on what we’re going through. This line There’s a divinity that shapes our ends, rough-hew them how we will seems an apt example of that.
The idea behind this line certainly speaks to where we are right now. It can be loosely translated: I had plans, they got messed with.
When I get to Act 5 with my students I always ask them: “Who knows what ‘rough-hew’ means?”
“Does it have to do with carving wood? My grandfather’s really into woodcarving,” one student asked.
“Yes. The point here is, we have hopes and dreams and goals. We start off life as a block of wood, if you will. We watch, we learn, and we whittle off pieces here and there to shape our lives in the direction we want them to go. We get summer jobs, do volunteer work, apply to schools, save or spend our money, make certain friends. We like to think we can direct where and how our lives will go. The fact is, we can cross the pike on our way home from school today and get hit by a car. Everything changes. So, what Hamlet’s saying here is, yes, we do have to be active participants in our lives, we do have to try to make things happen, but in the end, it’s not just us—there’s another force in control. Who?”
Whoops—gave that one away.
“God!” a few voices said in unison.
“Yes, God! There’s a divinity. A higher power that has a say in how our life goes, no matter how hard we try to control it.”
Now, I am not saying that God gave us COVID-19. I prefer to find God in the people who help, not in the crises themselves, but I realize that outlook is a choice. And a practice.
But what we’re all going through right now does make me think of this idea that there are other forces at play in how things go down than just our plans. As Robert Burns put it, the best-laid schemes of mice and men often go awry.
Through these past ten weeks many of us have realized how little control we have over how things go in life. Or how lucky we are when our best-laid plans actually work out. Planning and dreaming and having goals is so much fun. It gives us something to look forward to. In the case of a vacation, we can milk much more than a week’s worth of joy out of it through weeks and months of planning and anticipation.
We have a vision for our lives, our career trajectories, our relationships. We rough-hew our way towards where we want to be. We have to do that. After all, nothing comes from nothing. But sometimes forces larger or stronger than ourselves, or our metaphorical axes, are at play.
Since September I had a job that I absolutely loved, and I had a vision for where I would go with it. I was a maitre d’ at a wonderful restaurant working with great people and hosting a growing loyal clientele of appreciative and enjoyable regulars. Then mid-March it was swept away. Along with the beloved (or at least much-needed) jobs of millions–billions?– of other people around the globe.
This pandemic is chipping into the wood, into the foundations of our lives. We may not be in charge of the outcome, but we can and we must continue to whittle away at shaping the aspects of our lives that we can. Find the joy, share the sorrow, and for many of us, get ready to pivot to whatever new and hopefully meaningful work lies ahead.