I feel like Don Corleone alone in my garden. Where are the orange wedges?
This level of solitude is what I need. And this cool air sunny warmth.
My father was in my dream this morning…living in some way station efficiency adobe-style apartment not far from a construction site in the middle of parched earth nowhere. We were visiting him, trying to cook something, a little worried about how much time we had before we had to leave.
For some reason whenever he’s in my dream I’m always trying hard not to be in a rush. I wonder what would happen if I just sat down with him and we gazed at each other. Wonder if I can try to do that next time.
When I woke up and realized how lucky I was to be with him I cried a little bit, still holding back. I said jeez just cry, it’s not gonna kill you. Then came the kind of crying that I start coughing, then choking. It’s actually a little scary and feels like it might kill me.
It gets dark too early now…I don’t think I can possibly get enough sun today.
#godfathergardenreference #grief #writing #dadsdontdie #deaddaddreams